I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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