Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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