I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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