Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
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you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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