Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize