So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
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i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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