he puts the penis in happiness.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
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If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
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So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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