he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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