All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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