I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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