This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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