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  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:37pm

    How does one get a date from one of the Hills Have Eyes characters?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 6:52pm

    I wish I could hit "Bad Night" more than once.......

  • 99 84
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 4:17am

    @1:44 you really are a fucking idiot. she drank their jizz, not fucked em you tard. can't get pregnant by drinking semen! i swear, the kids these days.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:38pm

    I used to work for a painter in a college town. The guy who moved out left a couch. We moved it so we could pant the wall behind it. Apparently this was his "finger and toenail clipping couch" and he put all of the clippings behind the couch between the wall and let them fall on the carpet. There was a line of finger and toenails and inch wide the entire length of the couch. That dude and this girl should hook up. Blech.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:27pm

    if this text is real.... there's something really wrong with that person....

  • 88 64
    Submitted by sydmarqu3z on Mar 28, 10 at 3:02pm

    ew... vomit

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 6:42pm

    maybe she also uses them for currency like in Aaahh!!! Real Monsters

  • 89 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 18, 10 at 1:51am

    Dammit

  • 95 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:26pm

    *shrugs shoulders* hmm I'd hit it.

  • 94 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 23, 09 at 8:24pm

    Fucking gross and I'm pretty fucked up

  • 95 85
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 6:30pm

    this might be the most fucked up thing i've ever read

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 6:07pm

    OM NOM NOM NOM NOM OM NOM NOM NOM NOM

  • 94 84
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 1:02pm

    Fingernail biting actually does make me feel ill. I was at Quizno's yesterday and this dude was eating his sandwich while biting his nails. I lost my appetite and couldn't even touch my sub.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 2:43am

    1:52, i bet you didn't just throw up in your mouth a little, liar. and holy fuck, man if you made that shit up, even though its probably fucking sicker than that dude who ass fucked that chick that sharted her self, thats a pretty damn good story. toenails in a jar. i wonder if they all meshed together, and what it smells like. probably like old dirty toenails would.sick.

  • 82 65
    Submitted by ih8barney on Apr 25, 10 at 1:08am

    .... It's called food. Try it.

  • 82 67
    Submitted by xXFLYBOYXx on Mar 8, 11 at 10:20pm

    Ummm...... No

  • 92 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 24, 09 at 12:10pm

    wow, I just dry heaved. good thing I haven't had breakfast or I would have ruined my laptop.

  • 94 91
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 10:32am

    That guys lucky she didnt throw him in a pit and spray him with a hose when he didnt do what she told him to

  • 86 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 17, 10 at 11:45am

    Best thing I've ever heard.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 12:14am

    ive known girls that let have been so hammered that for 5 bucks drink jizz out of a cup from like 10 different ppl at a party.. one by one they go in the bathroom and rubbed one out, and this girl drank it.. true story, it was like 2 shots worth dude.. i couldnt believe.. took it down with no problem, and then obviously no one would talk to her OR let her hit the blunt

  • 92 93
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 6:45pm

    oh god im going to throw up

  • 91 92
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 6:54pm

    I hope you ran out of there as fast as you possibly could

  • 93 97
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 8:03pm

    i want this to be fake but i dont think it is.... grody!

  • 92 95
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:37pm

    that is theee fakest shit ever. thanks douchebags

  • 77 66
    Submitted by jemarttt on Jul 4, 10 at 12:32am

    i really hope you RAN the fuck out of there and didn't put your dick in her.

  • 89 90
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 6:04pm

    my old roommate used to cut his toe nails and finger nails in the shower and leave them there... and i thought that was nasty

  • 84 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 21, 09 at 7:53pm

    Makes me want to vomit

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 3, 09 at 5:21pm

    Shit that's fuxking sick

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 25, 09 at 9:33am

    I hope you ran. Run Forest, fucking run!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 7:49pm

    This really amuses me. Sickens me, but amuses me at the same time.

  • 86 89
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 10:11pm

    Mm you sound delicious

  • 86 92
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:24pm

    fuck that is disgusting...

  • 80 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 20, 09 at 1:29am

    She must like toe jam

  • 80 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:24pm

    wow, what the fuck?

  • 83 90
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 1:51am

    that is the nastiest shit ive ever heard in my life...

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 9:50pm

    5:53 can kiss my golden brown ass.

  • 85 95
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 26, 09 at 6:36pm

    oh my fucking godd. thats a keeper.

  • 79 84
    Submitted by GrammarFailure on Apr 26, 10 at 10:55am

    WHAT. THE. FUCK.

  • 80 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 11, 10 at 4:17pm

    ...that's a joke from a comedian

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 10:17am

    o m g ...i don't care if this is real or not., just the thought of that made me vomit a little

  • 75 78
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 3, 09 at 1:26am

    ewwww fuck that's wrong.

  • 80 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 26, 09 at 3:35am

    kay now thats just a little FUCKING disgusting

  • 81 90
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 1:38am

    Who the hell clicked "Good night" on this?!?!

  • 85 99
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 2:21am

    1:44, 1:03, and 12:39: this whole things goin up on 4chan. let the \b\ashing \b\egin!

  • 84 99
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 9:09pm

    fuck, i lost my appetite n i just heatd up sum taquitos

  • 70 72
    Submitted by meghen on Mar 5, 10 at 12:00pm

    Lmao I literally laughed out loud

  • 81 94
    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 10, 09 at 6:48pm

    i just threw up a little in my mouth.....

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:53pm

    Was she hot? If so, you should have let her shower you with her clippings, it would have been incredible.

  • 82 98
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:30pm

    ewww.... just.... ewwww! i think a small part of my soul just died

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:25pm

    just fucking threw up, thanks. god.

  • 65 65
    Submitted by grey on Jul 8, 10 at 10:49am

    That is fucking disgusting.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 9:49pm

    I really hope this wasn't a serious text

  • 69 78
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 6:31pm

    How do I maked baby?

  • 79 98
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 1:52am

    i just threw up in my mouth a little

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 3:44am

    W. T. F. does she have a jar of semen next to it that she sips out of when she has no dick to suck?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 9:27am

    i don't keep toe nails in a jar next to my bed.. but i always must have at least one fingernail in my mouth in order to fall asleep. i thought that was kind of gross but this text made me feel better : )

  • 76 94
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:25pm

    gag me thats disgusting

  • 69 81
    Submitted by ArizonaJessika on Nov 9, 10 at 1:30am

    This is REPULSIVE!!! *VOMIT*

  • 71 85
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 5, 09 at 3:17am

    ur dating the wrong girls dude.

  • 75 93
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 3:07am

    My cousin used to keep a collection of his toenails - his mom flipped out when she discovered it. I don't know what he did with them...

  • 76 96
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 2:56pm

    Totally knew a guy who did the SAME thing

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 10:48am

    10:05 like you don't do something kind of gross ever. you people all must be perfect with no odd quirks at all. and by perfect i mean boring. i know i'm not the only person who likes to chew on fingernails. and please don't try to tell me that chewing on fingernails is just as gross as keeping a jar of crusty toenails to gnaw on later. at least mine are fresh and not left to fester in a jar. fuck that noise.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 2:33am

    12:21 Bring them here. The entertainment is always flowing.

  • 73 91
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 7:25pm

    You've got to be kidding me! What a sick fuck! EWWWWWW

  • 74 93
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:34pm

    gross! i hope this is fake...

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 11:05am

    i do not chew on my fingernails, and i think that habit is not attractive to say the least, it wouldn't send me running out the door... but keeping toenail clippings for the express purpose to chew on is disturbing and probably a symptom of some psychological/emotional issues.

  • 72 90
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 8:48pm

    on the upside, how likely is it that she's up for some crazy shit?

  • 52 51
    Submitted by gabby375 on Dec 12, 11 at 1:47am

    That's fucking disgusting.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 7:17pm

    absolutely revolting

  • 74 95
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:27pm

    Reminds me of the giant jar of ZsaZsa Gabor nail clippings on SNL. Anyone remember that? Bueller?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 7:25pm

    Does she also see sand people?

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 25, 10 at 4:45pm

    HOLY FUCKING SHIT. WTF IS WRONG WITH THESE HUMANS

  • 74 97
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 3:49pm

    GAG, i almost just spit out my lunch

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 7:48pm

    WOOOOW GROSS AS FUCK!!!

  • 63 76
    Submitted by I_Win on Feb 21, 10 at 6:17pm

    I puked

  • 69 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 8:54pm

    wow, i'm eating..i should NOT have read that right now.. i feel absolutely sick to my stomach.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 6:27pm

    ugh this is so gross, just goes to show you, if a girls hot enough to go home with..thers probabaly something a little off with her..

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:24pm

    that's fucking disgusting

  • 63 77
    Submitted by logic on Aug 8, 10 at 12:31pm

    Just die

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 7:28pm

    WHAT THE FUCK?! I thought I was bad when I would just flick them in the general direction of the trash can in my room...

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:25pm

    Fake. It was a CAN, not a jar.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 1:42am

    Yuck, I'd hit bad night about 90 more times if it'd let me....but hey, any port in a storm

  • 73 98
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 12:59pm

    Why toe nails? Wouldn't she just clip her fingernails and keep them in there to chew on? That's why I'm calling this fake.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 9:44pm

    this made me vomit in my mouth a little. yuck.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 1:44am

    1:03 What do you mean? If there's 10 people how is she going to tell who the father is? That's what I want to know. I'm only 12 but I know she isn't married to any of them.

  • 51 57
    Submitted by RoffMain on Aug 20, 11 at 4:33pm

    But she lapped your ass, didn't she?

  • 70 95
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 12:10am

    this is too gross to be true

  • 65 85
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 12:47pm

    I think I just vomitted a little... That's probably the WORST habit ever. Or close to it.

  • 58 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 11:57am

    HAHAHAHa., falk;dsj Wow.

  • 68 93
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 10:05am

    9:27....it is REALLY gross. Don't feel better, because that's fucking disgusting just like this text

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 8:54pm

    we need to know who this person is cuz I sure as hell don't want to run into her somewhere in town

  • 67 92
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 3:27pm

    3:00 i agree. what if.

  • 66 91
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 6, 09 at 10:36am

    that is the nastiest shit ever!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 7:41am

    3:07 Redneck runs in the family no doubt

  • 55 71
    Submitted by yuppitsme_ on Sep 16, 10 at 1:21am

    that's sickkk!

  • 68 97
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 25, 09 at 2:31am

    e w w w w w w w w w w w w w w ! T h i s i s b e y o n d d i s g u s t i n g ! i j u s t t h r e w u p i n m y m o u t h .

  • 67 96
    Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 6, 09 at 9:18pm

    Whatever floats the psychos boat

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 27, 09 at 5:18pm

    At least you know she saves money by not having to get pedicures and is extremely flexible....

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 11:01pm

    Heat up your dictionary instead please

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 12:39am

    Did she get pregnant? How does she tell who the father is!?

  • 68 99
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 8:36pm

    Oh goddamn! WHAT THE FUCK!? ...let's HOPE this shit is fake!

  • 62 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 7:19pm

    FTW 6:42. other than that i really want this to be a fake text.

  • 65 95
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 30, 10 at 8:23pm

    That is hilarious

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 13, 10 at 5:48pm

    I did the sane thing to my cat

  • 64 93
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:26pm

    hahahaha thats so gross

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 6:14pm

    For foreplay, you can optionally chew her unclipped toenails while she chews her clipped toenails, and see who can get the most in their mouth fastest. You clearly have a disadvantage, therefore she must wear a blindfold and not know where the jar is.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 8:22pm

    MENTAL VOMIT wait, nevermind it's physical vomit now.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 3:00pm

    So, did he just fuck her, or was he unfortunate enough to have kissed her before hand?

  • 59 89
    Submitted by zachneedg2 on Feb 4, 11 at 2:11am

    Fake. Seriously TFLN, step your game up.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 5:00pm

    @ 2:56, Was it Jason?

  • 59 90
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 7:04pm

    thats terrible, disgusting, and wrong.

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 09 at 6:08pm

    LOL... I had a friend who used to keep old fingernails in an altoids box to chew on. His grandma made him start it so he would stop chewing his nails and just chew on those. He said he quit but he still keeps it on him just in case he relapses. It's pretty sick

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 20, 09 at 10:38pm

    that's some of the nastiest shit I've ever heard...

  • 45 65
    Submitted by firefly28 on Jul 22, 11 at 10:12pm

    WTF.

  • 41 58
    Submitted by evantoman on Nov 4, 11 at 10:36am

    OMG :|

  • 61 98
    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 4, 10 at 9:47pm

    This is so fake...you got this from a commedian...

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 8:17pm

    NO FUCKING WAYY!!!! No way people are that weird

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:34pm

    Oh... vom. This is even worse than all those awful menstrual texts...

  • 39 57
    Submitted by delani on Jul 11, 11 at 1:44pm

    Ewww

  • 56 91
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 4:14pm

    holy fuck, runnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 5:43pm

    this is why i absolutely HATE people with dark skin colors.. i own 5 slavess!!!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 6:57pm

    I'm both fucking disgusted and impressed with her powers of foresight. Always be prepared.

  • 50 87
    Submitted by IDKWTFTE94 on Aug 10, 10 at 5:52pm

    EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

  • 38 68
    Submitted by daylight on Feb 17, 12 at 5:43pm

    Grahm Norton was right. this is bad...

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 1:03am

    omfg @12:39 are you fucking serious? i hope you're not or else you need to be hit upside the head with some really blunt object.

  • 30 59
    Submitted by photorobert on Jun 2, 12 at 11:55am

    Run!

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 20, 09 at 9:15am

    I bet if u knock it over she will shank u and eat ur nails

  • Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 9:18pm

    She sounds like a pretty cool guy ehs doesn't afraid of toe-nail clippings. Pro tip: Cut your nails using an open DVD case as the shield. I find it makes cleaning up a breeze!