So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize