apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize