Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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