I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
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I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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