She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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