Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
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They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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