Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
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I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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