its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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