Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize