Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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