tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize