Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
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He's a Shit stain on my heart
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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