Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize