They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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