He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize