You're not crazy. Capt'n Crunch may be a code word for someone else, but the cereal fucks up my gums. Unfortunately for my gums, those crunch berries are so goddamn delicious.
I know what you mean! Not only is it sharp and it cuts you but it leaves a gross milky-cereal-saliva-y residue film sorta thing on the roof of your mouth. Gross.
It feels like it leaves a thin slippery membrane in my mouth.. then after a few hours it feels sore like i have ulcers.. unfortunately the deliciousity of cap'n crunch overrides every inclination my mind has to not eat it... especially those little blue red and green crunch berries.. fuck i'm getting a boner.. ok.. i just realized that cap'n crunch is like blue balls.. totally worth the romance explosion.. but so sore afterwards.. yes that's it, perhaps the most epic metaphor ever.
Cuts your mouth with delicious yellow crunchies and then covers it up with like a weird sugary layer, to make it seem like it never happened. I'm not fooled but I can't resist those crunch berries!!!!!
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