SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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