In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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