you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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