It was confusing and full of hummus
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
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and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
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She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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