I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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