She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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