that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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