No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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