last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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