She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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