i permit you to call me
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize