look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize