jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize