So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
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We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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