Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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