the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Too much gin, very little bucket
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
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My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
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I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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