There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
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I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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