her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i will never coherently bang her
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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