i don't like sucking hair
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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