He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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