Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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