then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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