I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
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Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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